About this episode
<p><strong>The dating industry profits by exploiting your insecurities. </strong><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593593987/?tag=jordanharbing-20" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong><em>Bonded by Evolution</em></strong></a><strong> author Paul Eastwick brings science to prove that even <em>you</em> can land love!</strong></p><p><strong>Full show notes and resources can be found here: </strong><a href="https://jordanharbinger.com/1309" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>jordanharbinger.com/1309</strong></a></p><p><strong>What We Discuss with Paul Eastwick:</strong></p><ul><li><strong>The concept of "mate value" — the idea that everyone is a fixed number on a scale of attractiveness — is largely unsupported by science.</strong> Studies show people only agree about who's attractive roughly 65% of the time, meaning a full third of the equation is purely subjective. <strong>Your "score" depends heavily on who's doing the scoring.</strong></li><li><strong>Dating apps force people into artificial filtering habits</strong> — like screening for height or income — not because those traits genuinely matter in face-to-face attraction, but because users are drowning in options and need some way to narrow the pile. <strong>In speed-dating studies, traits like height barely register as factors when people are actually interacting in person.</strong></li><li><strong>Your romantic partner likely sees you through a generous — and scientifically real — perceptual lens.</strong> Partners in happy relationships tend to rate each other as more attractive than outsiders would, and they instinctively "derogate alternatives," meaning they perceive potential rivals as less appealing. <strong>These biases aren't delusion — they're relationship glue.</strong></li><li><strong>The "evo script" — a set of ideas spun out of 1990s evolutionary psychology — overstates gender differences in attraction.</strong> Research shows that when men actually meet ambitious women face-to-face, they find them more attractive, not less. <strong>The gendered "money-for-looks" tradeoff doesn't hold up either — women trade resources for attractiveness just as often as men do.</strong></li><li><strong>Compatibility isn't something you discover on a profile — it's something you build in person.</strong> Give potential partners at least three dates in three different contexts, use fewer filters, and treat early dating less like an evaluation and more like a collaboration. <strong>The science says the best relationships often grow from repeated, low-pressure, real-world interactions — so get offline, get curious, and give people a real chance.</strong></li><li>And much more...</li></ul><p><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/id1344999619?mt=2&ls=1" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here</strong></a><strong> — even one sentence helps! </strong></p><ul><li><strong>Sign up for </strong><a href="https://jordanharbinger.com/course" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Six-Minute Networking</strong></a><strong> — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at </strong><a href="https://jordanharbinger.com/course" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>jordanharbinger.com/course</strong></a><strong>!</strong></li><li><strong>Subscribe to our once-a-week </strong><a href="https://www.jordanharbinger.com/news/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong><em>Wee Bit Wiser</em></strong></a><strong> newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!</strong></li><li><strong>Do you even Reddit, bro? </strong><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/JordanHarbinger/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Join us at r/JordanHarbinger</strong></a><strong>!</strong></li></ul><p><strong>This Episode Is Brought To You By </strong><a href="https://www.jordanharbinger.com/deals/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Our Fine Sponsors</strong></a><strong>: </strong></p><ul><li><strong>Booking.com: </strong><a href="https://booking.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Book your getaway now with booking.com</strong></a></li><li><strong>DripDrop: </strong><a href="https://dripdrop.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>20% off: DripDrop.com, code JORDAN</strong></a></li><li><strong>Marathon Rewards: </strong><a href="https://www.marathonarcorewards.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Sign up today: marathonrewards.com</strong></a></li><li><strong>Saily: </strong><a href="https://saily.com/jordanharbinger" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>15% off: saily.com/jordanharbinger, code JORDANHARBINGER</strong></a></li><li><strong>Booking.com: </strong><a href="https://booking.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Book your getaway now with booking.com</strong></a></li></ul><p>See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.</p>